Not Quite A Yes...

I can't resist posting Avram Grant's press conference after the Everton game. Reported here:

Reporter: A deserved win, Avram?

Grant: "Yes."

What particularly pleased you about the performance? "I'm pleased."

What in particular pleased you? After a delay: "I don't know."

Is it a relief to win here? "Yes."

You seem lost for words. Are you more satisfied with the performance or the win? "Both."

You seem distracted. Do you have a problem? "No problem."

Is there an issue? "No. I'm ok. I have nothing to say."

Do you have a message for the Chelsea fans? "You represent the Chelsea fans?"

They must believe you are still in the title race, do you have a message for them? "No message."

Does this result mean you are back in it now? "I don't know."

You seem less voluble than usual. Is it because of Sky TV moving the game to a Thursday? "Maybe it's because of you. I don't know. I am OK."

You are saying that you don't know if you are still in the title race? "No."

Is it easier to say nothing, Avram? "I don't what to answer. It is a good question. I don't know what to answer."

Is this because Sky? "No. Sky is OK. I enjoy watching them."

Is it a protest against newspapers? "No. Why?"

Why else would you come in and refuse to answer our questions? "I answer every question."

You are two points behind Manchester United and you don't know if you are still in the title race? "No."

Have you told the players that you don't know if you are back in the title race? "What I tell the players is something else. You want me to tell you what I say to the players?"

We just want you to answer the question. Are you in the title race? "I don't know."

Would you not like to gain some positive publicity for the result rather than this bizarre silence? "I'm sorry. You can write whatever you want and I can answer what I want."

Have you ever played the yes/no game, Avram? No answer.

So it has nothing to do with Man Utd, and I'm not even posting it to gloat over Chelsea. I'm posting it because it's funny. I'm not sure I'd go so far as The Mail though, who describe it as "one of the most astonishing press conferences in football history". Not that I've got a more astonishing one, but there must have been one more astonishing than giving short answers to questions. The one where Ian Dowie was being unveiled as Charlton manager and the guy came in to serve a writ is one that occurs to me after 20 seconds thought.

Still pretty funny though.