Don't Take 5 (take what you want)

Call me petty, but after a great performance and a 5-0 scoreline there's nothing I like better than trawling through match reports and picking fault with the smallest things.  Because that's what I'm left with today, such was the nature of the performance there's not a great deal to complain about in the papers, they just have to accept that we're pretty damn good actually.  And so to the nitpicking.

The Mirror, as ever, is more than useless.  I know that papers have deadlines, and Sunday papers have earlier deadlines.  But this match report is on the website.  Here's what they say about Cleverley's injury:

Sir Alex Ferguson’s men lost Tom Cleverley to a hamstring pull in the fifth minute.

Every other paper is aware that Cleverley damaged his foot.  Every other paper is aware that Kevin Davies caused the injury.  It was mentioned by Sir Alex.  Cleverley was sat on the bench throughout the second half with his foot heavily protected.  The Mirror reporter was oblivious.  Where does this hamstring come from.  Guesswork?  And The Mirror can't change it on the website?  How I hate The Mirror.

The Sun aren't much better.  Here's what they say:

the only downside for boss Sir Alex Ferguson ahead of another Champions League quest getting under way against Benfica on Wednesday was the suspected broken foot young midfielder Tom Cleverley sustained in an early collision with Kevin Davies.

Is "collision" a euphemism for "proper dirty foul?" Because if it isn't it's a silly way of describing the incident, denying Davies any credit for taking Cleverley out of the game.

The Observer report uses the word collision, but with a more obvious satirical edge:

Ferguson had to make another change after only eight minutes, when Michael Carrick replaced Tom Cleverley, who came off second best in one of those "collisions" Davies has perfected.

Given that Davies was talking about roughing us up before the game, this description of his agency and his premeditation is apt. The report also looks at our strength in depth and De Gea's performance:

The composition of the United team was always going to be interesting, four days before they launch their latest Champions League campaign away to Benfica, and such is their strength in depth that Sir Alex Ferguson could make changes after the 8-2 drubbing of Arsenal and still field what was, arguably, a better starting 11.

Rio Ferdinand returned at centre-back with one England defender, Phil Jones, replacing another, Chris Smalling, at right-back, to hugely beneficial effect. There had been some talk of Ferguson "resting" David de Gea – a euphemism for sparing him a physical battering by Kevin Davies – but the Spaniard kept his place in goal and will have done his confidence no harm with a faultless performance which had the visiting fans chanting his name after one notable save, at the expense of Ivan Klasnic, when the score was still 1-0.

And I think by the end of the season I'm going to be sick of comparisons between us and City.  The Observer devotes the first 2 paragraphs to one, and The Telegraph goes one better: 

Forget the barbs and the posters, this was another thrilling footnote in what looks set to be the most exciting intercity rivalry since Liverpooland Everton regularly went head to head for the league title a quarter of a century ago.

With Wayne Rooney scoring a second successive hat-trick for the champions, United responded to City moving to the top of the table with a 3-0 home win over Wigan, with an even more crushing victory at the Reebok Stadium to regain pole position.

With the two clubs now having managed 33 goals between them, as well as maximum points from their four matches, it appears that the only problem neutrals will encounter is keeping count of the goals.

The Mail On Sunday's report is OK, but ruined online by the ridiculous positioning of the photos which come between pretty much every sentence and render it almost unreadable.

The Independent look at Phil Jones' contribution:

Two were created by Phil Jones. The first was devastatingly simple, a run that might have been cut off but was not, a cross and Rooney judging his run as well as Hernandez had his a quarter of an hour before. For Dedryck Boyata, who was meant to be the covering defender, this was to be a tortured debut.

What followed was even better. Jones has the physique and confidence of someone rather older than 19 and driving into the Bolton area, he left Zat Knight on the grass before his shot pounded into Jussi Jaaskelainen's boots. The rebound, however, fell to Rooney's footwear six yards out and his seventh goal of the season was something of a formality. When in the 68th minute he met Nani's pass and curled it past Cahill's body and into the net, he celebrated his second successive hat-trick with both arms raised to the sky.

Although, after consecutive hat-tricks for Rooney, starting the report reminding us of last season's transfer request seems a little mean-spirited.

The Sun has quotes from Rooney and Hernandez:

 "We always know Bolton is a difficult place to come."We got an early goal and kicked on from there and it could have been more."He continued: "First start with Chicharito (this season) and both scoring, that's great." ...Hernandez missed several chances to complete a hat-trick of his own but said: "The most important thing here is the result. We get three points from a difficult visit like Bolton."

He then praised his partnership with Rooney, adding: "Every player can play with Wayne Rooney. He's a world-class player. He can do anything."

 Sir Alex is quite restrained when it comes to Kevin Davies, and talks of injuries, In The Mail:

'We think Cleverley has a broken foot. It was a bad tackle and we will see tomorrow morning. We had to endure it [Bolton bad tackles] but we kept playing our football. Jonny Evans has hurt his hip. He is doubtful for Benfica on Wednesday. Patrice Evra has a knock on his knee.'

 And he comments on our difficult start to the season:

"This is a difficult start to the season, we're playing all the big teams. Chelsea next Sunday. It's been a hectic start, and if we come through this next week in the same position we'll have done well.

He also looks ahead to the team that might play against Benfica midweek, bringing in more experience:

'Experience is important and that's why my team might be different in Lisbon. Benfica-United has a ring to it because of the history. But it's an important game in its own right. Whoever wins gets a valuable headstart in the group. 'There's no doubt the younger players will get good experience in the Champions League this season, but the important thing is to qualify. 'The home games will be better for them. Our first home tie is against Basel and the young players are capable of playing in that kind of match. 

'But Benfica away is one you have to respect. They will be a handful. We always expect a difficult game there. They operate with three midfield players and we will have to look at that, as it will be the hardest part for us.'

The Daily Star have extra quotes from Sir Alex on the Champions League, not sure precisely where they come from originally, here's a sample:

“You hope to be lucky and I think we have been quite lucky with the draw.

Then you look at City’s group with Napoli, Bayern Munich and Villarreal – hell! That is a bloody difficult group. You have four teams there who are capable of being in the top six or seven clubs in their countries. ...

So I am quite happy with our draw. Also, you hope for decent matches in terms of travelling and we have avoided problems there, too.

“The important thing about the whole competition is to accept challenges and everyone has to try to match Barcelona.

“We hope to play them again in this season’s final at Bayern Munich’ s ground, which is a great stage. It’s

a fantastic stadium like Wembley – but maybe it has a better atmosphere.

Real Madrid will also be be there or thereabouts – they will improve. But with the squad we have, we should challenge.