Ballad of the Unsent Letter

To the writers of open letters, 

I hope all is well and you are not feeling too self-important today.  I make no apology for the open letter format because that would be a bit of a kop-out wouldn't it?  As if acknowledging the stupidity of a format before launching into it exonerates you.  It's having your cake and eating it.  And, hohoho, David Moyes wrote one too so that makes it ok, the use of the format is actually ironic.  Hehehe.  Let's forget that David Moyes is one man who has to speak to millions of fans, making the open letter the most sensible means to do so.  Unless your self-importance knows so few bounds that you imagined you deserved a hand-written missive falling through your letterbox.

But anyway, I suppose I just wanted to say thanks for airing us fans' concerns.  Thank god for you because how else would anyone know our views.  I mean, if their was some means for our voices to be heard individually, some Twitter thing or Facebook thing, then your letter would have been unnecessary, but as these modern means of communication are, it would seem, yet to be invented, thank god for the noble writers of open letters putting our views for us, airing dirty laundry in public, and in the very pages of the tabloids who take such delight in our troubles.

Thanks again, and in the future, when something happens at the club, I hope you will be there to put the tape over my mouth and presume to speak for me and the millions of other fans like me who are perfectly capable of expressing our own opinions, be they pro- or anti-Moyes.  Times have changed, and yes, you're right, the open letter is a crappy format, especially when it's paid for by a tabloid.

Yours sincerely,

Man Utd MediaWatch