Fatty Boom Boom

The Sun throws a curve ball with a story on how we tried to buy Neymar for £38 million on transfer deadline day.  We don't need the official denial from his club to tell us it was rubbish, it's all there in the actual article.  First off, there's this:

The club record bid failed when the Santos ace, 20, said he wanted to stay put until after his country had hosted the 2014 World Cup.

United boss Alex Ferguson’s approach puts Wayne Rooney’s position at the club even further into question and the Scot will not be afraid to try again for the goalscoring sensation in the January transfer window.

On the one hand, Neymar says he wants to stay in Brazil till after 2014, but on the other, Sir Alex will try again in January? Why? Then this:

United turned to Neymar after losing out to Paris St Germain in the chase for another Brazilian, Lucas Moura.

They had offered £32m for the Sao Paulo 19-year-old but the French club landed him for £38m.

Ferguson promptly turned to Neymar, who has hit 113 goals in 190 games for Santos but the bold approach failed.

When did that whole Moura thing fall through?  Weeks ago wasn't it?  And Sir Alex "promptly" turns to Neymar... on transfer deadline day... Quite.

The Mirror have excerpts from Rooney's forthcoming book. Here, on his weight, and here, on being dropped last season. It's all pretty bland and football cliché stuff, here's a little bit on his weight:

But I gain weight quite easily. It’s not a problem though. It’s not as if the manager is leaning over my shoulder as the numbers come in, tutting and making jokes about me eating too many chip butties.

Besides, I know I can shift it in a week or two. All the players are given loose training programmes to stick to while they’re away, but they’re optional.

The Sun tell us that Usain Bolt playing for us isn't as far-fetched as it might sound, quoting Sir Alex from Inside United:

“Usain’s a character and a big United fan.

“But it’s interesting he says he’d like to play in a charity game. It could be brilliant, and next year when we play Real Madrid’s Legends again, there could be opportunities to bring him up and see how he does.”

Darren Fletcher is in the Champions League squad.

And someone in The Mirror has an opinion piece saying that our defensive cover is stretched.  No Shit.