Boring Machines Disturbs Sleep

Slow news day doesn't describe it.  If it's news about Manchester United your after I'd give up now.
The one actual news story is this: Peter Schmeichel is appointed an official club ambassador:

'I am looking forward to working with United again and sharing my experiences, as well as catching up with some of my former team-mates.'

And that's it.  The other thing I've dredged up is that Juventus have pulled out of the "race" for Van persie, leaving it to us and Man City to "scrap for his signature", according to The Daily Star, who must also take credit for the mixed metaphor...
This despite Arsene Wenger today saying that they'd not received any bids for him.  This article though claims RvP would prefer a move to us or Juventus rather than City (who wouldn't):

it is understood that, while Mancini is determined to sign the player, a superior financial offer from Juventus and the lure of playing for
Ferguson at United are currently the two proposals that appeal most to Van Persie.

And that's the lot.