Man Utd 2 Bolton 0

Today we start with The Guardian's match report by Daniel Taylor in which we see the age old trick of praising a performance in a way which undermines at the same time. Very clever:

Better than Best? It might need thumbscrews before Manchester United's supporters of a certain generation accept the arguments in favour of Cristiano Ronaldo, certainly until he starts to bewitch foreign grounds in the way George Best once did, but the current darling of Old Trafford is entitled to feel a great deal of satisfaction that he has succeeded in making it a legitimate debate, at the very least.

Asks the question, suggests that some older folk might disagree, and then, the killer, "until he starts to bewitch foreign grounds in the way George Best once did". He's good but... Brilliant writing. And yet - How many of Ronaldo's goals have come from Europe this season? That would be 6. Didn't he recieve a standing ovation from The Sporting fans when he was subbed in the game there? Yes. The same trick is repeated further on:

to take his personal tally to 33 for the season and he can now claim to have outdone Best in at least one way, El Beatle having stood as United's most prolific winger since scoring 32 times in the 1967-68 season. Many of United's followers must have thought that record would never be broken but Ronaldo, El Brylcreem, has managed it in 37 appearances - compared with Best's 52 - and he did it with some panache, too

Of course it's slightly harder to get away with here, maybe he should have just left this bit out altogether rather than attempt such a weak gag.

Over on The Guardian blog Paul Doyle has a faintly ridiculous article, Ronaldo's brilliance masks United's problems . The first paragraph signals the stupidity to come: "Manchester United may have gone three points clear at the top of the table and been boosted by Chelsea's failure to beat Spurs, but they are still far from certain to be champions of England, let alone of Europe." Considering the bad form of Arsenal and Chelsea conceding 4 for the second time this season I'm not sure why this article is about our deficiencies stopping us winning stuff, when other's deficiencies seem in greater need of analysis.

We then have two contradictory reasons for the uncertainity:

because United's midfield often struggles to assert itself

The problem is United's forward are not reliable

So which is it? He does state this as the problem, rather than problems. Is the problem our midfield or our forward line? Is it the midfield that absolutely dominated against Arsenal (including the Fabregas Doyle lovingly refers to later on)? Or is it the forward line - the forward line that has helped us to score 61 league goals this season (of which Ronaldo has 24 - leaving 37).

We have this perverse description of the top scoring team in the Premiership:

defensively solid United are over-reliant for goals on Ronaldo, whose brilliance has regularly rescued them this season, masking the shortcomings of both the manager and some of his team-mates

Yes. We do also have the best defence in the league. Thanks for the reminder.

I suggest you read it all. It really is that bad. My favourite bit this description of Wayne Rooney bringing in the classic Arsenal-are-the-real-footballing-team stick:

It seems he overcomplicates things not because of an idealistic, Arsenalesque commitment to artistic purity, but because of a grubby lust to inflate the hype around him, to soup up his image.

It always seems to me that what these people can't stomach is that we actually play great football and win football matches (and trophies), Arsenal's very rubbishness seems to demonstrate to these people how good they actually are. It's a great argument - "we don't win anything because we are just tooooo good".

Credit to the report in The Times by Oliver Kay, gives the boy his due and points out the easiness of the game:

In one respect, it seems tedious to report another Ronaldo masterclass, but there is nothing tedious about witnessing brilliance, particularly of the mouthwatering, jaw-dropping type produced by a player whom Gary Megson, the Bolton manager, described as “the best in the world”.

Much of the evening was humdrum, with even United’s fringe players content to conserve their energies for the sterner examinations that lie ahead, but what might have been a difficult night for Sir Alex Ferguson’s team was transformed by those two early goals from Ronaldo

Can't say fairer than that.

The Telegraph report is pretty bland stuff, only a bizarre cricket captain reference and a sly remark about Ronaldo and Winston Churchill standing out worthy of mention here.

And the others I've read are of a similar vein. Bolton just weren't good enough for the media to really trash us today.

I finish off topic, but a story I found of interest anyway, from The Daily Star:

Steven Gerrard’s dream of leading England to the World Cup looks like being shattered by a Fabio Capello intelligence test.

Read the rest of the story if you must, but I prefer to leave it as Capello thinks Gerrard is too stupid to be England Captain...